Female Intellectual Dependence

When my wife of 35 years finds something interesting on television, she often insists I sit next to her just in case she needs something explained. (Why not? I used to be a university professor. I know more now than I did then.) Nevertheless, she often responds to my comments, even to my answers to her direct questions with undisguised disdain.

I tell her: You can’t have intellectual dependence and contempt both. You have to choose.

I don’t have to, she says; the combination serves most wives well.

Does this co sound familiar to anyone of any sex?


About Jacques Delacroix

I write short stories, current events comments, and sociopolitical essays, mostly in English, some in French. There are other people with the same first name and same last name on the Internet. I am the one who put up on Amazon in 2014: "I Used to Be French: an Immature Autobiography" and also: "Les pumas de grande-banlieue." To my knowledge, I am the only Jacques Delacroix with American and English scholarly publications. In a previous life, I was a teacher and a scholar in Organizational Theory and in the Sociology of Economic Development. (Go ahead, Google me!) I live in the People’s Green Socialist Republic of Santa Cruz, California.
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5 Responses to Female Intellectual Dependence

  1. McHenry says:

    I experience a similar thing often from people who know about my cross country trek. Folks who are following exercise routines for the first time or who are racing enthusiasts ask my opinion on their training….will it work? What to eat? How often? Etc….
    That kind of regimen is too strict for me…I train very casually. Anyway, I’ve read a lot of books on the subject and the biochemical background helps fill in rationality behind efforts. So I give responses I feel are honest and based on some substance, mixed with my own experience. (I trained to go 30 miles a day for 5 months by running a lot and eating well, mixed with a healthy dose of staying up late, drinking, and smoking pot, none of which I recommend to these types.)
    Every single time without exception, this is met with contempt and correction. “That won’t work”, “you’re just different”, “no you have to do this too”.
    Soon the one who asked me is telling me how it is…I’ve come to realize that they are not really questions to begin with, it is someone inviting themselves to talk.

  2. McHenry: Exactly! What do you know anyway?

    (McHenry ran across country from Santa Cruz to Atlantic City, I think. He rode back though, the softie. See his story in:___________________)

    I have had the following experience repeatedly: I lose some weight so it shows. Fat people, acquaintances compliment me and ask what I did. I tell them. They approve loudly of my regimen and then, they want me to approve of their almost always absurd, superstitious, anti-scientific ideas. I am under pressure because they approved of mine. It’s a reciprocal arrangement, in their minds. It’s an exchange.

    But there is a difference, I want to say, I did lose weight while you are just as fat as you were a year ago. I don’t say it, of course. I am a wuss.

    So now, I respond to queries by stating rudely: I will tell you what I did if you promise not to tell me what you believe; I don’t want to become confused, you see.

    PS Yes: The word is “fat.”

  3. Jim N says:

    Alas, yes; you are far from alone. My wife and I are both engineers. She’s no dummy; holds a couple of dozen patents. Still, the scenario depicted above is very familiar 🙂

  4. There is soothing in the company of misery. My own wife is smarter than I am, that’s understood. She married me for my body.

  5. RichInSoquel says:

    Wow! You nailed that one, Jacques.

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