Forget the two or three women who come out accusing Trump of various horrors every time there is a new revelation about Mrs Clinton hiding her official government correspondence from the government although she is completely innocent of any wrongdoing. Assume it’s not 5 or 6 or 7 women whom Trump touched inappropriately; suppose it’s 25 in thirty years. (Again we are not discussing his language; it’s foul. Make of it what you will.) I want tot follow two strands of thought: Part One: Inappropriate touching of women by men; Part Two: How it undermines the Republic.
Part One: Groping and Unwanted Advances
Warning: This is going to be crude by neo-Victorian standards. I am trying to cut through the current hypocrisy. Read at your own risk.
Here is a trip through Memory Lane. When I was a young man (or a younger man) and single, in my limited experience and observation, few women ever told a man, “I want your body now. Strip!” Women who were erotically attracted to me would send signals of various levels of subtlety, often so subtle, that I, for one, did not capt them. (I know this from debriefings, sometimes years later.)
Given this general decorous female passivity, for anything to happen, men had to take chances. With an intuition that a woman might be interested, they took steps. In the old days, propositioning a woman verbally was considered the ultimate uncouthness. You had to leave her plausible deniability, let her pretend that carnal knowledge happened nearly without her knowledge. To this end, uninvited physical contact was proper. It could take the form of an attempt to take her hand, or a kiss on the neck when she was rinsing glasses at a party; it could involve an actual body grope. What approach prevailed and what body part was stroked or groped depended largely on the amount of alcohol and/of cannabis involved. If the gesture was ill-received, the woman would just step away or leave the room; no harm done. And then, there was always the possibility that the target of one’s attention was on the cusp, so to speak and that a simple hand on the nape, for instance would tumble her in the right direction.
There is even worse. When I was a teenager, in France but also in the US for a few years, close dancing had not yet been replaced by the absurdly Narcissistic individual gesticulations that came with rock’n’ roll. In principle, in close dancing, a woman could allow exactly as much space as she wished between herself and her partner. Yet, with the fatigue of the evening and (again) with a little booze, bodies would relax, the female partner might slump a little, and some passive rubbing would take place. In my recollection, it was common, very common, for erect penis and clitoris to meet hypocritically across four layers of clothing during the space of a dance or two. Often, usually, this took place in front of many spectators who did not notice or who pretended not to see what was going on. Sometimes, the spectators were parents, as I recount in my book of memoirs: I Used to Be French; an Immature Autobiography (available on Amazon).
If such a contact was unwanted by the woman, she could simply tilt her pelvis a few inches to put an end to it. No words said; no harm done, no scandal; everything back in order in seconds. No complaints filed. Many happy relationships, many marriages began just the way I describe. (I know mine did, another marriage.) The men were thus generally in a position where, on the main, they did not know if physical contact was “unwanted” until they tried.
My point is this: Most of the women who are charging Donald Trump with horrible acts are old enough to remember the good old days. I would expect them to recollect that the kind of practice just described leads to averages. For several unwanted contacts they may have had to suffer, there were probably several wanted ones, some of which led to admirable relationships, including marriage, as I said. On the whole, it’s hypocritical for a woman to avoid admitting that what she wanted was often embedded in behavior she would rather have avoided.
What precedes is not a story of exceptional depravity. It’s a conventional narrative of female mating choice that has been buried under thirty years of pseudo-feminist political correctness. I am describing normalcy, I think. It is not, either, the confession of a super sexual predator – me – far from it. In fact, women who ought to know have often accused me of being “lazy.”
I must confess that I don’t have clear idea of what people who are of early mating age do today. I don’t know how much mating actually takes place. I note with interest that a high percentage of them remain unmarried until an unprecedented age. Maybe the males should learn to touch a little.
I also believe that they should act as if “No” means “No.”It’s the morally prudent policy because some times, it does.
Next: Trump’s Unwanted Groping Threaten the Republic